I remembered this story Tom posted on Facebook about his strange encounter. Made me cry with laughter for days!  The most surreal moment of my sober(ish) life ever has just taken place: Walking back from Hertford cricket club cricket I saw a reasonably well turned out 40ish MILF wandering about barefoot and talking to herself - then she looked up, made a beeline for me and grabbed my hand saying firstly "Tom I am your real mother, it's so good to finaly meet you, I'm so glad you've turned out like your mum."  She then went on to tell me to stop looking at her like she was "butt naked, it's wrong - I'm your mum." Then she asked for a hug.  Then she said "No it's wrong we can't." while simultaneous trying to pull me in the direction of some dense shrubbery. I was expecting some kind of elaborate practical joke... but then she also referred to me as Aden, John, and Rikki... going on to say that she doesn't actually exist, she's just a character in a book, and also that she's just come back from the dead (apparently there *IS DEFINITELY* no afterlife). She then went on to claim that I reminder her of a dead black cat she'd seen lying in a road in the past. I eventually got the fuck out of there after she mentioned some psychopathic ex husband was following her, saying "Bye mum nice to finally have met you" and walking away to catch my train. Last I saw of her, she was wandering up and down the road trying to flag down random cars. I did the right thing in the end though - and called the police when I got home. Due to my graphic description given to the policewoman, they have now picked her up on the Mandeville road by Simon Balle school... and she's currently on the way back to the secure ward of QE2 hospital from which she escaped this morning.